Inspiration

I am my worst enemy, learned the perfect defense from the hedge-hog
Basically someone gets too close, I envolop myself in a shell putting out spikes. I realize that, I do it on purpose. but omg when someone believes in you so much that they're willing to get hurt by the spikes just so they can help you out.

It is my duty, I had no other choice but to listen and act. My couzin has surpassed depression, and he's been trying to help me fight it. I struggled.

Depression is you, all your intellegence keeps you down. It is custom tailored to you, it is your equal, it is you.
Have you seen lord of the rings when smeegle talks to his alter ego? depression is pretty much the same, it is your other self. It is your censored self suppressing your full potential.

My god my spikes hurt, my couzin went through them and decided to get hurt just to pull me out of depression, just to show me a better alernative, a better life.

One thing I can tell all the depressed people out there. Depression is curable. And it is just worth it to cure it. Umm consider this, it is your duty as a human to be happy in this life. I know depressed people can't relate but it is important to recognize this.

I owe it to my couzin to fight my depression all out now, no excuses. I just didn't care, not caring is a part of depression that should be fought actively.

Screw the past, everyone we all did mistakes in our pasts, don't you see people around you are happy? You deserve to be happy as any of them. You are valueable, your sense of happiness is there, but its censored by your depression. Thats important to note. Everything revolves around each human and their happiness, this is whats engraved into our own beings.

Now, the real fight begins. I am seeking a psychologist's help. I'll keep you guys posted. But I have one thing for depressed people. I can't be there to motivate you. Motivate yourself and just fight it. It is a tough fight. But if you want to unlock your potential, you must do it. Else you'll be wasting your life. Thats not the right path for you nor for anyone.

Just like when the teacher asked the student: "WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO WITH YOUR LIFE?"

The answer simply was:

I WANNA ROCK! (ROCK)
I WANNA ROCK! (ROCK)
I WANT TO ROCK (ROCK)
I WANNA ROCK! (ROCK)

TURN IT DOWN YOU SAY,
WELL ALL I GOT TO SAY TO YOU IS TIME AND TIME AGAIN I SAY, "NO!"NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
TELL ME NOT TO PLAY
WELL, ALL I GOT TO SAY TO YOU WHEN YOU TELL ME NOT TO PLAY,I SAY, "NO!"NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
SO, IF YOU ASK ME WHY I LIKE THE WAY I PLAY IT
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING I CAN SAY TO YOU

I WANNA ROCK! (ROCK)
I WANNA ROCK! (ROCK)
I WANT TO ROCK (ROCK)
I WANNA ROCK! (ROCK)

THERE'S A FEELIN' THAT
I GET FROM NOTHIN' ELSE AND THERE AIN'T NOTHIN' IN THE WORLD THAT MAKES ME GO!GO! GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
TURN THE POWER UP
I'VE WAITED FOR SO LONG SO I COULD HEAR MY FAVORITE SONG SO,LET'S GO!GO! GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
WHEN IT'S LIKE THIS I FEEL THE MUSIC SHOOTIN' THROUGH ME
THERE'S NOTHIN' ELSE THAT I WOULD RATHER DO
I WANNA ROCK! (ROCK)
I WANNA ROCK! (ROCK)
I WANT TO ROCK (ROCK)
I WANNA ROCK! (ROCK)
I WANNA ROCK (ROCK)
ROCK (ROCK)
ROCK (ROCK)
I WANNA ROCK (ROCK)
ROCK (ROCK)
ROCK (ROCK)
I WANT TO ROCK (ROCK)
ROCK (ROCK)
ROCK (ROCK)
I WANNA ROCK (ROCK)
ROCK (ROCK)
ROCK (ROCK)
I WANNA ROCK
I WANNA ROCK! (ROCK)
I WANNA ROCK! (ROCK)
I WANT TO ROCK (ROCK)
I WANNA ROCK! (ROCK)
I WANNA ROCK (ROCK)
ROCK (ROCK)
ROCK (ROCK)
I WANNA ROCK (ROCK)
ROCK (ROCK)
ROCK (ROCK)
I WANT TO ROCK (ROCK)
ROCK (ROCK)
ROCK (ROCK)
I WANNA ROCK (ROCK)
ROCK (ROCK)
ROCK (ROCK)
I WANNA ROCK

Source: Darklyrics.com Twisted Sister I wanna Rock

And we're gonna be rocking loud... rest assured

Lust Deception MURDER

This is a story that took place in the US when a middle aged man (Tom) married w/ 2 children created a false online identity claiming to be an 18 year old Navy soldier (tall and handsome) who just came back from Iraq. He started chatting w/ Jessy a 17 year old who fell in love with him and started sending him gifts and pictures of herself posing in a bikinni and lying on bed etc.



One day Tom's wife found an evidence of her husband's online romance and sent a letter to Jessy telling her that he is a 47 year old man married w/ children. Jessy didn't know what to believe whether its another woman trying to steal this navy hunk from her, or if she was telling the truth.



Barret is a 22 yr old coleague of Tom in a tool factory. Jessy contacted him and Barret confessed to her that Tom wasn't what he claimed to be. Soon after Barret and Jessy started having an online romantic relationship of which Tom was furious.



Tom got so furious and started sending them both angry messages and such. Barret's reply was that he didn't choose to talk to Jessy, Jessy approched him and she started talking to him.

After this relationship started getting more and more seriouse, Barret was found dead in the parking lot, shot w/ 3 bullets to the chest.



Investigation in to the matter was initiated. The investigation revealed that Jessy was never the one chatting online looking for love. It was her mother Mary who happens to be shorter, overweight, and less attractive. Mary used her daughter's identity to lure in those two men.



Distressed by the investigations' results Tom pleaded guilty to the murder charge. A plea which he tried to withdraw later but the judge refused to withdraw it but agreed to an appeal.



Sad story of which a 22 year old man just lost his life, and for what? lies and deceit.

I wish I could say the story was fiction, but its a true story you can find teh details at the bbc's website.



http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/specials/1516_assignment/page12.shtml



Is there a moral to the story? there is a lot that can be learned here, but I'll leave that to the readers.

Sleepy

Its the last working day b4 the weekend starts. Just feeling soooo sleepy I don't feel like producing/working all I wanna do is to go back to sleep goddamnit

I am researching distressed mortgages, anyone can help?

The fight

I've been talking to my couzin lately and we had a long conversation about happiness in life. Both of us were depressed for so long that we dont even know what it means to be happy
All my life I thought happiness was fiction, this world is all about pain and suffering.
However, influenced by our religion, god has ordered us to worship him and not forget to take our share from life.

This world, as god created it, is beautiful. It is our duty to worship god and be happy.

So depression update: The reason I started taking medication to fight depression was because my life almost got to a screeching halt. It got so bad that I basically gave up on everything. Not only that, I just can't find a value in anything. Can't enjoy anything I do. Everywhere I go whatever I do even if good happens to me its like w/e. But when bad things happen the thoughts get amplified to an insane degree.

So I started taking the medication and getting better, but I wasn't motivated to fight depression still. Medication alone gives you a tool to fight it, but its not nearly enough as you have to change your thought pattern and lifestyle. I wasn't interested in actualy fighting depression to improve my quality of life. All I wanted is some energy to do what I have to do. There is a better way to go about it, the natural urge in humans to pursue happiness.

In order to pursue happiness, depression can't just be left alone, it has to be fought with all you got. It has to be fought with full force. It has to be combated actively, and it should be a priority in life to be happy. There is a better option. Depressed people's quality of life is almost only 10% of their whole lives. Which means effectively you only live 7 full years if you live till 70. You have the option to live happily. And its plain better. Although you don't care when your depressed, you don't care about being happy. Its your right though, and it is your duty to be happy. Don't let any authority figure tell you otherwise they use depression and lowering the morale as means of control.

I thought these lyrics are appropriate for the topic

You've Got Another Thing Comin' Judas Priest

One life I'm gonna live it up
I'm takin' flight said I'll never get enough.
Stand tall I'm young and kinda proud
I'm on top as long as the music's loud.

If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by
You're thinkin' like a fool 'cause it's a case of do or die.
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
If you think I'll let it go you're mad
You've got another think comin'.

That's right here's where the talkin' ends
Well listen this night there'll be some action spent.
Drive hard I'm callin' all the shots
I got an ace card comin' down on the rocks.
If you think I'll sit around while you chip away my brain
Listen I ain't foolin' and you'd better think again.
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
If you think I'll let it go you're mad
You've got another think comin'.

In this world we're livin' in we have our share of sorrow
Answer now is don't give in aim for a new tomorrow.

Oh so hot no time to take a rest yeah
Act tough ain't room for second best.
Real strong got me some security
Hey I'm a big smash I'm goin' for infinity yeah.

I-MAX?

I went to the I-Max w/ N tonight we watched the Deep Sea video
I am glad I saw that because I needed a reminder of the beauty of god's creations
So I thought I'd get this out of the way early before my mood goes down the gutter tomorrow at work

Good News: Alwatan news paper reported that Kuwait is taking actions to fight human trafficking. Just when you start thinking all hope is lost

There was also an environmental awareness seminar done in Sharq mall, people are basically taking intiatives.

Well, the world is changing. I encourage everyone to tune in to the BBC int'l Radio station at 100.1 FM, just press the up arrow when your on 99.7.

We'll keep it positive for now, till the inevitable happens tomorrow morning. Till then take care of yourselves

EDIT: Blog identity compromised, not sure what action to take next, a blog termination might be in order. Didn't take a decision yet.

Ain't it fun

This song has been stopping me everytime I ponder about it.
Comment on the contents of the song liberally

GUNS' N' ROSES
Ain't It Fun"

Ain't it fun when you're always on the run
Ain't it fun when your friends despise what you become
Ain't it fun when you get so high
Well... that you, you just can't come
Ain't it fun when you know that you gonna die young

It's such fun
Good fun
Such fun

Ain't it fun when you taking care of number one
Ain't it fun when you feel like you just gotta get a gun
Ain't it fun when you just can't seem to find your tounge
Cause you stuck it too deep into something that really stung

It's such fun, ah
Well, so good to me,
they spit right in my face
I didn't even feel it
It was such a disgrace
I punched my fist right through the glass
I didn't even feel it
It happened so fast

Such fun
Such fun
.........

Ain't it fun when you tell her she's just a cunt
Ain't it fun when you she splits you and leaves you on the bum
Well, ain't it fun when you've broken up every band that you've ever begun
Ain't it fun when you know that you're gonna die young

It's such fun

Sexual slavery in the Gulf

Bloomberg.com reports a phenomena of sex trafficking in the gulf, mostly in Dubai and has interviewed some of the victims who managed to escape.

Direct link to the story http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=email_en&refer=home&sid=amKSCFA_Fm3s

Dubai is currently on a US State Department watch listwatch-list for failing to take "meaningful steps" to end trafficking of women for prostitution and other workers trapped in conditions of slavery.

Incidents and interviwees explained how they were promised high pay for maid, hairdresser and other jobs only to find their contract invalid and their passports confiscated by the employers. After which they get forced into selling their bodies.

There are an estimated 10,000 victims of human trafficking in Dubai, according to the state department's 2007 report. UAE officials claim the figures are overestimated and that they have begun to take action, passing the 1st anti-trafficking law in the middle east.

Kuwait and Qatar are ranked on the same watch-list for cases of invoulantary servitude, not sexual exploitation as in the UAE. Saudi Arabia is on a worse tier ranking than the UAE.

Robots

When are we gonna have robots in every household substituting for PC's and annoying chores?
Well the pentagon held an unmanned vehicle race competition http://www.darpa.mil/grandchallenge/
I think it was a pretty cool idea and its great to see a government this passionate about science. CMU (Carnegie Mellon University) came in first. GOOOO PITTSBURGH $2 mill FTW

EDIT: Net Neutrality; am just for letting the market be free.

Sanitarium by metallica brings calm and serenity to my being... here are the lysrics:

Welcome to where time stands still
no one leaves and no one will
Moon is full, never seems to change
just labeled mentally deranged
Dream the same thing every night
I see our freedom in my sight
No locked doors, No windows barred
No things to make my brain seem scarred
Sleep my friend and you will see that dream is my reality
They keep me locked up in this cage can't they see it's why my brain says Rage

Sanitarium, leave me be
Sanitarium, just leave me alone

Build my fear of what's out there and cannot breathe the open air
Whisper things into my brain assuring me that I'm insane
They think our heads are in their hands but violent use brings violent plans
Keep him tied, it makes him well he's getting better, can't you tell?
No more can they keep us in Listen, damn it, we will win
They see it right, they see it well but they think this saves us from our hell

Sanitarium, leave me be
Sanitarium, just leave me alone
Sanitarium, just leave me alone

Fear of living on
natives getting restless now
Mutiny in the air got some death to do
Mirror stares back hard
Kill, it's such a friendly word
seems the only way
for reaching out again.

random, weekend

1- SlashDot reports that the voting software will be released to the public for feedback.
The voting software/machines were a contraversial topic in the 2004 presidential/house/Senate elections and the 2006 mid-term elections. At first it was confidential and closed source now finally they realize that openness and transparency is the way to go.
The public will have a chance to test the software and report bugs/backdoors to the authorities. It is the chance for computer geeks who happen to be activists, or just computer hobbyists I guess. I urge everyone who has the knowledge and the expertise to participate.

2- N's Blog, http://blog.oneortheother.info/ has a post of a collective poem. Everyone seems to be excited about it and I found i to be interesting. Please check on it and contribute.

3- Music: I'll start here by listing my main influences; {Iron Maiden, Yngwie J Malmsteen, Joe Satriani, Metallica} ummm, just look them up if you haven't listened to them b4, you won't regret it.

I just ordered the 3 readers of this blog to do stuff, didn't mean it as an order just a recommendation. Hope everyone has a good weekend